"Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder" Rethink!

We have off beat movies so now I will offer you an off beat blog. It means that I am giving you no introduction but coming straight to the point. There's a saying, that "beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder." Really? Rethink! I will get you to count how contradictory is this statement and what all trouble does it bring in the society.

Marriage is 'the' oldest institution we have in our culture and no matter how modern we get, most of us our linked to this institution. Have you ever come across the matrimonial page in the news papers or websites? Young, fair, tall, thin, educated bride is all they are looking for. Educated means how fluently she speaks in English.

Don't you think these days getting married is become a huge task? Even if it's for the first time. God save you if it's for the second time. If you discuss about this to anyone then they will blame the girls have got too literate, they have too many choices, little compromises that anyone wants to make, too many divorces and how can the social media not be blamed! These reasons aren't wrong.

I am not writing anything new over here. You probably know more than I do. But in my view, really are these  reasons valid enough? Women higher literacy rate is a progress, choosing how much to compromise is a stand that they are taking. Ask those eligible girls are they really struggling to find a match because they are low in tolerance and high in literacy?

Let's get back to that statement. Fair, thin, tall etc. we cannot deny that this category will not have as much struggle as others. Exceptions are there everywhere. Meet those girls who are not fair, not thin, not tall. Tall bit is still fine in India. Ask them their struggle. A short girl having wheatish complexion with lollipop like butts, her threshold for tolerance is also high and so is her education. You think she will have an easy way out? Such is the importance of physical beauty. A physical beauty with criteria attached in a modern world. Not to forget the struggle of remaining skinny in the fast food world. Huge challenge. 

We have been conditioned so much by these criteria that even our goddesses sculpted have a perfect waist to hip ratio. Who calls Kali Maa a beauty queen?

Am I saying anything new over here? How does then beauty lie in the eyes of a beholder? We have to be perfectly fair and be perfectly shaped to reduce our struggle for a man to accept us. And let's get real, he will only look at your appearance in the first meet, not your clean heart or goddess like nature. And unfortunately, our minds are trained with a specific kind of appearance only, needless to mention the specifications here.

Now one question that bangs in my head is then what about the sex life ? How arousing can it be with a dark skinned or less educated or shorter or lollipop butt like girl? I told you I am getting straight to the point. Is sex life at all connected to these criteria? Then every girl would be doing great in her sex life when it comes to fitting in this framework set by us. Having fun in sex life is all about your mind set.

I dare to negate that a girl high in literacy and low in tolerance is the reason for break ups or late marriages.

If beauty really wants to lie in the beholder's eyes then we have to change our definitions. It's not a crime to get attracted to a thin, fair, tall girl but calling only that beautiful is limiting yourself to explore the dark, so called unshaped, short hair, not so beautiful.

You never know she may be sexier in bed 😜.

And I know that marriage is not all about sex but it's not even 'without' sex. Sex life plays a huge role so let's change our definitions. May be when we teach our boys that beauty really lies in the eyes of a beholder then these girls may not have to struggle as much.

So to end this here, I will make a small start by incepting this new idea in the minds of the beholders whom I know by asking a simple question, "What else does beauty mean?"

Regards,

Kshiti 

I am a housewife and I don't do anything (Don't read it as- My name is Khan and I am not a terrorist)

I am a housewife and I don't do anything
I am a housewife and I don't have a JD (Job description)
I am a housewife and I don't understand what is GDP (Gross Domestic Product)?
I am a housewife and I do not file my tax returns.
I am a housewife and I do not contribute to the country's economy.
I am a housewife and I do not watch news in the T.V.
I am a housewife and I do not talk business or politics.
I became a housewife the moment you got married to me.
I don't understand GDP because I am busy understanding your mom, dad, siblings, your culture, your lifestyle, your routine etc.
I do not talk business or politics because I am busy wearing saree to suit your traditional family occasions and busy wearing one piece to suit the events you plan with your friends.
I am afraid that I do not contribute to the country's economy because I am busy contributing to the peace of the family.
I do not file my tax returns because I am busy filing  the project of our children, busy filing for the mediclaim of your parents.
I don't watch news because I am busy watching our children, watching our parents, watching the helpers, watching the guests, watching what is available for 4 course meals, watching if everything moves smoothly.
By calling me a 'home maker' my JD won't change and so won't your thinking.
Without sounding sexist, if I choose not to look for your validation then "I must say that I am a housewife who does nothing if this is called doing nothing."
Dedicated to all the Men who say she is 'just' a housewife :-)
Regards,
Kshiti

In conversation with ..... YOU

Let’s face it. Visual arts activate 2 parts of the brain and if auditory is included then 3. Therefore Bollywood rocks. I am writing lame stuff only because I want to do something. I want to probably write. One of my friend suggested that it’s more about spreading ideas than money. And I agree. But yes, I want to write because I want to be famous, have 1000 %$#£€$ crores in my bank account and except for sharing that with my family, I have no clue what the hell am I going to do with it? Therefore, its a task to think why I need it at first place? 

Am already a nawab dude ;-)
It would be irrational if I think no one would be interested in my write up because I haven’t really surveyed the world’s population. I assume that people who are done with their basic needs that is roti, kapda, makaan in hindi, money, cars, apartments etc might want a new insight. So here I am! My aim is to connect with aam janta (mango man). Now also if people are struggling with what to do next post roti, kapda, makaan might want to free their minds from ‘kyuki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi type drama’ as that also consists of our routine issues nevertheless ;-)
Now to clarify further please dont visualize ‘roti’ as jali hui aadhi roti, kapda as fata hua one jodi kapda or makaan as leakage wali deeware. People who are sentenced to marriage (don’t read marriage as death) ;-) have different issues. Their basic needs are already met which means in their case ‘roti’ becomes the latest whooper of burger king, ‘kapda’ now becomes the collection of zara and vero moda only during end season sale ;-) (not to forget that) and makan becomes a top floor apartment atleast with ancestral jewellery and 2 cars loaded with some staff (maid) ofcourse. Now why the hell am I telling you all this? My motto is to convey that; this becomes our basic need. In our school days, we learnt that if we meet all 3 needs then we must be satisfied but by the time we inculcate this habit, I realized that the definitions have now changed. I remember we were taught this in our moral science class. No, no don’t get me wrong! I am not here to give any moral science class either because I use to eat my partner’s lunch box below the desk in that ongoing class. I think that was the best moment ;-)
Therefore am in no position to give you any moral gyan.
Then what the hell am I offering you if I have no good or bad teaching in my write up? I just want to reach out to you not because you need me, but because I really need to talk to you.
If you are giving me your unconditional response of reading then isn’t it my duty to tell you where are we heading? It is right! yippie so we build our rapport here ;-)
Well then let’s get back to roti kapda makaan and now you know what to visualize our basic needs as ;-) I assume we have a clear picture about it now.
So we are now left with kyuki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi type of drama. We don’t need to really guess the issues because we are all aware of it, be it married or unmarried. Most of our training and values depend on how well we are going to perform in sasural ;-) No matter how western we become, we will always have these values at place. You will almost be forgiven for all your acts in Std X XII or even at your job place. But baby you will be judged based on your performance post marriage. Who will be the judge? Every one who looks like a human ;-)
But truly I am not here to empower you or tell you how bad or good our society is. If you are enjoying this conversation, I am half way through already.
If we only look at urban population then the issues are pretty different. And when we use the word issues, please do not think I am coming up with solutions. Sometimes issues are not to be resolved. They can be used for entertainment too ;-) let’s be little ‘hatke.’
Imagine a kitty party scene. Everyone has an inflated story of all those bahus just being out of the place. Now there will always be few Sharma auntys and Khanna auntys who will always feel out of place. Pucho kyu? Boss; they don’t have ‘tell a tale’ in the group. In other words their life is pretty deflated. In aam janta’s language they have no ‘masala.’ (Spice). Now do you realise that ‘masala’ (indian spices) is not only important in indian food but also in our lives and then not to forget we are social beings. Look it’s simple, if you don’t have any drama then you stay out of social gatherings like kitties, satsang groups etc.
And my gyaan for the young generation, here it is: don’t feel elevated about only satsangis and kitties of 40s to 50s (age) having drama (masala) in their blood. Sweethearts, we are no exception to it.
By reading this, I am not asking you to eliminate drama from life. I am in fact talking about its importance. A “masalaless” life would be like having sex without orgasm ;-)
 
Since I have written so much and you have read so much, I have some eligibility to give you one gyaan. Be my guest: ” If life’s drama disturbs your peace to the extent of not allowing you to function in your daily routine, or diluting all your interest in life then I have come up with a saying “Get rid of the drama before you perpetually turn traumatic and dramatic." Ask yourself a hard hitting question. “What hidden benefit (technical term: secondary gain) are you deriving from being in a dramatic environment or being a drama yourself?”
Or else seek help from professionals. 
So darling, be the drama as long as you enjoy it. 
Do not mistake my article by thinking only many people together can have dramatic lives. One person can do multiple roles and be the drama alone.
Find out your negative gains in drama and liberate yourselves. 

Regards,
Kshiti

A New Beginning...

I am not spiritual in nature just because my name is SOUL. I am in search of those few words which provoke you to believe that the ray of light exists in everyone’s life. I am also in search of my Twin Soul who is connected with me through my veins that vibrate every breath to wake him up from his deep sleep, calls out his name not through the language or words but through the noise of the blood flow in my body just like the sound of the waves in the sea.

The heart beats call him and say “Look, look, she is someone known to you!” “You know her man!” Go recognize her and look into her eyes, go down and flow in her body, in that thick red blanket, you will pass through every vein that would vibrate and call out your name, you will see every cell that has your picture impressed on it. Go, reach her eyes, she would blink at you and give you shade through those beautiful lashes, her fluid (tear) would sprinkle on your face to feel the water cold. Purify yourself in her blood stream, she would take the entire burden for you, for that much she loves you. Move up, above her eyes and you will meet her soul. Her soul resides in her mind and will dance when she sees you there.

The brain beats, the heart beats, the veins vibrate, her soul awaiting, her eyes gazing, the cells breathing and the body of energy only calls out one name “………..” You will meet yourself in her cells; they know you more than you know yourself. Show up where ever you are, meet her, accept her, love her, tell her, talk to her, breathe her, admire her, listen to her, share with her, reason her, believe in her.

Every thought that she thinks about you is heavier than your own existence on this Planet Earth for that much strong is her energy. Go call out her name! She wants to listen from you, listen to those 27 years, every story that you breathed, dissolve in her blood stream, melt in her eyes. Her veins that vibrate would give you air to breathe in her body, go stay in her body because she welcomes you every single moment. That’s the function of her body.

She is your answer, she is your call and she is your “Soul Mate.”

She will make you breathe in her body, store your sperm, give room to your fetus in her womb and convert her blood into milk to feed your child. What a feeling it is to be your Woman! A Woman in Love! A woman who would not only give you place in her heart but have her entire family in her "Sole Body."

Go, knock her heart and she will open her eyes, spread her fingers for you to hold her palms and open her arms for you to hug her. Go, take her where you first kissed her and tell her the stories of those 27 years and she would be your “Friend for Life.” Stand next to her and send her those electrifying currents, connect with her by kissing and she would realize who you are. All she would say, “I know you, I see through you.” You’re my twin soul and I recognized you through the noise of your blood flow like the waves in the sea. “You’re the one!”

There’s a flood on the Planet Earth. It’s a blanket of thick red water; the sand absorbs it all and turns red in colour, the scattered cells shows the picture of your face on it.

Go, gather all of them and meet her soon or else the cells won’t be able to meet its own body. Let the broken women get one with you. Live your life in her body because that’s the place for you. You are her Twin Soul!

Kshiti Shah

It was a strange birthday !!

Fetus to Me: Why are you so excited about your birthday? You are counting weeks, days and now few hours to go. Waiting for your friends to wish you your birthday! How could you be so mean? 

Me to Fetus: By the way, who are you? Why are you upset with me? I don't even know you. I don't understand you (surprised); I can see those yet developing but angry eyes. You are so tiny and weird (giggled). You still look soft but cute. I haven't seen you ever in my world (wondering). You don't even look like one of us. Your body is similar to us though. Looks like you are a bud yet to blossom into a flower. (imagining). Later, (looking around, confused) is this some joke or am I dreaming? (Inquiring to herself)

Fetus to Me: What are you talking about girl? (Irritated). I am angry at you because you’re excited about your birthday and you started describing my body. As if I am so unaware about my looks? How dumb of you?

Me to Fetus: Listen, (irritated) you are crossing your limits (pointing out her index finger towards fetus). First and foremost I don't know you, on top of that calling me a dumb is little too much (angry). It's my birthday and of course it’s my free will to be excited about it (very clear in her tone). What is your problem is yet not clear to me? (With an attitude) You look some disfigured thing to me. (Disgusted)

Fetus to Me: Of course, from cute to disfigure is quiet a quick journey miss! (Sarcastically). Listen, I am a part of you if you want to believe in me.

Me to Fetus: What?? What rubbish? (Bugged)

Fetus to Me: Yes, it is rubbish for you. Don't open your mouth anymore (threatening). If I disappear, you will not be able to stop thinking about me and remember, your so called excitement will go away. Stay calm and listen to what I am saying.

Me to Fetus: (Scared, confused and shocked) softly, who are you?

Fetus to Me: I will explain everything. Stay calm! "I am YOU". Relax please.

Me to Fetus: Is this some kind of a joke? (She yells). Get lost from here. You’ve lost your mind, little one (with ridicule)

Fetus to Me: Believe me if I get lost then you won’t be able to stop thinking about me.

Me to Fetus: Ok, tell me what do you want? (Pretending to be relaxed)

Fetus: Great! That makes me feel better. So you already believe that I am you. That’s why you’re asking me another question. What do I want? (Pause) Well, I know you’re pretending.

Me: (With a soft voice) how do you know I am pretending? (Breathing heavily out of fear)

Fetus: Because I am a part of you, of course I will know (Confidently). I am the fetus. You were me (fetus) in the mother’s womb. You don't accept me because you disowned me.

Me: Surprised! (Eyes widened)

Fetus: It took you few seconds to call me from cute to disfigure. I am your disowned part and so I look disfigured to you, believe me I am called the purest form, the most amazing, beautiful being in this Universe. If you notice then everyone is more than happy when I enter their world. They have all kinds of celebrations in the world. A wife becomes a mother as soon as I come into their lives; I am born in her womb. She is called a mother because of me.

Me: At ease a little bit, but still keen to listen. (Makes sense)

Fetus: I know you are feeling better. You will also realize that I am your part. It’s your 26th birthday and I am oozing out to tell you all these things. It’s been so many years but I could not express, I didn't have the language like you dear. 13th September is your birthday? Is it? Who told you? Parents? I was born 9 months back when not even mom came to know that she has me in her womb. On the 26th day of my birth, my heart started beating, lungs formed to breathe. I am living since then, even before 13th Sept. Where are those 9 months gone when I/you were a fetus? Omitted? Why? No one knows their birth dates because we don’t know when we are born? Not even the mother herself knows until the first month. So wouldn’t you consider those 9 months?

Fetus to All: (confidently challenging) I am you and no matter if you disown me or the world continues this fashion of birth dates, we all know that we were once a fetus and those 9 months were also are our part of life and we can never deny that. At least not this lifetime!

Me: Lights switched on! I am looking here and there don’t know what’s happening! (Suddenly loud noise in my room) Happy birthday song!! All my friends are here. Of course, it’s a surprise but I don’t know whether a pleasant one or not. Zero reaction on my face. Eventually the voices turn soft. One of my friends (with concern) asked me, hey what happened? Nothing, I replied quickly (pretending to be fine). Thank God it was a DREAM!! I just knew one thing in my heart, I will never forget that fetus was me, the small me and will remain a part of me forever. Still don’t know how to react? The dream seemed as real as me. Unforgettable one!!

Kshiti Shah :)

"Men Uses and Women Loses"

If our long term relationships are on the verge of breaking up, we cry in front of our freinds or on the TV show and say "He would come home, USE me and go away.."
Give me a break dude! Which world are we living in? 70s, 80s or 21st century?
You degrade yourself to the extent of calling yourself a Disposable Product? Wasn't the man involved? Oh! he wasn't Used? Is it?
"Men Uses and Women Loses." Just think once? It's the society who has given this power to men. Women would be used if she gets involved! I am not saying that our society is bad / wrong. The objective of the society behind this is to keep discipline and not to act like dogs. So one of the sexes have to follow the rules and it is ofcourse women.
There won't be an extra privilege for men, if women Decides not to give them this privilege where one calls herself as a used product and the other, if; doesn't loses his virginity then "He is not a Man."
If we are really in the 21st century and so called modern people then think about it?
The least we can do is to stop degrading ourselves.

PS: I was scrolling the channels and came across this trailer on a national television program called emotional ataychar where woman was crying and saying, "he would come home, use me and go away." What is the need of such shows is yet another issue!!

Kshiti Shah

I Realised..

My friend Micheal,
Saw different kinds of people.
One fat, one thin,
Some studious, some keen.
Few hard to know,
Some are friends, others are foe.
All are different, he analysed,
We are human, we realised.
Everything is messed, but yet we are blessed.

(7th Grade)